Letters To Toska

by Zoya

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about

“No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody or something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.” - Vladmir Nabokav

Letters To Toska is a compilation of a few of my originals recorded in my apartment with the help of the inspiring and talented musicians listed below. Thank you so much for listening to our project.
~Zoya

credits

released November 11, 2013

Written & Recorded by Zoya
Guitar & Vocals by Zoya
Percussion by Munir Zakee
Bass by Nate Jakes
Mandolin by Alex Gable
Flute & Bansuri by Frankie De Rosa
Piano by Kevin Andrews
---
-What Are We Supposed To Do?-
Background Vocals by Audreal Gillet
Electric Guitar by Savanna Hill
Saw by Mayn Hipp
-Willows-
Electronic Drums by Wil Tecla
Saxophone by Tom Wilson
-Letters To Toska (ft Matt Rosewood)-
Electronic Drums by Munir Zakee
Special Guest Matt Rosewood from Rosewood & Drew B
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Mixing by James Krivchenia
Mastering by Jonathan Wyner
Photography by Lauren Johnson
Graphics by Matt Rosewood

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Zoya Boston, Massachusetts

I write songs from my heart and record them in my room

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Track Name: Fire
Throw me into the fire I
need to feel the heat surround me let it burn off
my dress Ohh it was worthless,
compared to the skin I wish I could get rid of
the skin you used to touch
the very skin I’m trying to burn off

You scratched in my chest
You stole all the working parts without permission
I need my heart back to do a few things
At least hand my lungs back its getting hard to breathe, its getting hard to breathe

Leave me here to survive in the wildlife
I’ll let the trees feel me up this time
instead of you the moon will escort me through
Instead of you natures hand will be my rescue

You scratched in my chest
You stole all the working parts without permission
I need my heart back to do a few things
At least hand my lungs back its getting hard to breathe, its getting hard to breathe

oooh it’s a fire, it’s a fire it’s a fire I’m burning up
ooooh

You scratched in my chest
You stole all the working parts without permission
I need my heart back to do a few things
At least hand my lungs back its getting hard to breathe, its getting hard to breathe oh
Track Name: Willows
Willows weeping away
I kept following my path like I
Knew which way
I was going going in circles I was
Turning around myself like a damn
Dog I was chasing
Chasing my tail in desperation
Just lying bout the past
Cause' no one ever knew me back then

I wish I could pretend a little less
And I wish I wish I could pretend
A little less and I wish I
Could pretend a little less

Well don’t you say
It's my fault I cant escape
Because freedom doesn’t come that easily
When you're me
Trapped inside my twisted mind ruthlessly fighting off what I try to hide
Truth gets confused but what can I do when its all because of you

I wish you could pretend a little less
I wish I could pretend a little less
and I wish I wish I could pretend
a little less and I wish I
could pretend a little less

oh oh oh oh I
cant help myself but hope that theres a chance you’ll come back
and if you say you cant, my only option to pretend again

I wish I could pretend a little less
and I wish I wish I wish I could pretend less
Track Name: What Are We Supposed To Do?
“You better watch yourself” she warned
Don’t worry miss I’ve heard that before
You cant go on living without any faith
They’ll say faith is the only thing that will make you change

I cannot embrace your gods
If I did it’d be the last thing I do
You wont go on fighting for your right to exist
You’ll end up like the rest, waiting for his permission to live

What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
In this dark dark room when I need Him to turn to

Why is it you fight with your religions?
You just disguise it with your weapons
How are we expected to be
Civilized when it’s the Sky’s eyes who decides

Why is it you fight with your religions?
You just disguise it with your weapons
How are we expected to be
Civilized when it’s the Sky’s eyes who decides who survives

What are we supposed to do
What are we supposed to do
What are we supposed to do?
When the world gets dark too.
Track Name: Forgive & Forget
Forgive and forget
Forgive and forget
Something I cant just let happen yet
Something I cant just let happen yet

I apologize my love,
I apologize my love,
For you cause who would ever choose
To play to lose
For you cause I misunderstood
Now its clear you’re here for good

I don’t mind to look back
on baggage I’ve planned to unpack
but my oh my, look at you
how can I forget that
how can I forget that

You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right

I wont criticize my love
I wont patronize my love
But some things are bound by time
And Im to fragile to feel inclined to try
To read through the fine lines

Forgive and forget
Forgive and forget
Something I cant just let happen yet
Something I cant just let happen yet

I don’t mind to look back
on baggage I’ve planned to unpack
but my oh my, look at you
how can I forget that
how can I forget that

You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right
You took me by the moment right